Takes a Lickin' and Keeps on Dickin'

Thoughts on

 

 

Yeah, just like a Timex.  That's Hank.  I think the ep title, "Coke Dick (which I get) and the First Kick (which I don't yet)" has more to do with Charlie's porn project than anything else, just like last week's title.  Maybe 'first kick' refers to the final scene?  Hank's first real kick in the ass as to how his current questionable lifestyle and association with Lew is messing up more than his own life?  Or maybe the Runkles' realization that Marcy has a problem?  That Charlie has?  That they all have?  Gee, I dunno, but I'd love to hear some other theories.

 

I hope they're not trying to divert my attention from Hank's story for some reason, because frankly, ain't no way, unless they want to just drop Hank from the eps all together.  But that wouldn't work either, because if that was the case, I most likely wouldn't watch.  But I have to confess it seems like they're spending more time with Charlie and Daisy and Marcy than they are Hank, putting the emphasis on their predicament, but I guess maybe they're trying to diversify the series a little, make it more ensemble-oriented, while they find another good direction for Hank to go, besides taking his licks from Karen and dicking the hot babe of the week, thus my review title. 

 

Trust me, I knew the minute the Rolling Stone chick appeared in frame that she was Hank's next conquest.  I try an argument against it later, but there are times I appreciate Hank's hard-won ethical unpredictability and its vitality.  Even more so when he acts predictably, and Rolling Stone chick, to me, was a loud signal Hank's getting kinda predictable, after all.  If he wanted to be unpredictable, by this point, he'd have to turn the chick down.  *That* would be unpredictable. 

 

But we start out the ep with Hank prowling around the home of the love of Lew's life, the one that got away, hoping to speak with the woman.  He pulls a Mulder and illegally goes through the mail in the mailbox, looking for clues.  I figure all Hank knew about the lady was where she lived, and hoped to at least determine her name, by looking through the mail.  But oops, the husband shows up at the worst possible time, understandably belligerent toward this stranger hanging around his abode, digging through his mail.  Hank's lucky the guy didn't call the police before he even got out of his car, actually.

 

Hank's starts out as his usual charming self, being very forthright with the gentleman about why he's there, even tells the guy his name and profession and reason for being there, but the guy's palpably not impressed.  The lady of the house appears and Hank tries talking directly to her, but the man of the house gets between them and she runs back into the house, looking back only briefly when she hears Lew's name.

 

The exchange from there is a hoot.  Hank falling over the flower pot was a classic.  I don't know if David did his own stunt for that one, but it looked real enough to me and I laugh every time I see it.  "Who puts a fucking bush there?!"  :snort:  Another great delivery on the line.  Well played, sir. 

 

A refreshing little opening scene.  We hadn't seen Charlie and Hank together much lately, and I guess it was just a little convo they decided to throw in to show us they're still friends and keeping up with the haps.  I appreciated Charlie agreeing with Karen (and me) that Lew's place was not a wise choice for Hank, in his current frame of mind, but I noticed he didn't offer Hank an alternative.  Of course, they had to get in the silly!sex references and gynecologists and sanguinissimo, which was all typically cute for the duo.  It was kind of good to see them connecting on whatever level again.  I think a whole ep had gone by without them in a scene together.  I miss Hank and Marcy together, too, so I hope one of those opportunities pops up again soon.   

 

Hank catching Julian with Holly was both gross and funny, but I somehow knew it wasn't the score Hank thought it was going to be.  Just something about the way Julian reacted told me he wasn't that worried about getting caught, but more about having his 'session' interrupted and his picture taken.  Still, what a creepy guy.  Poor Sonja.

 

Then we have what seemed like to me the first of two very long scenes with Charlie and Marcy and Daisy.  Maybe it's just my perception, but it seemed like the Runkles and Vaginatown got more time this week than Hank.  But perhaps overall, it was even, as usual.  I just noticed this and a couple of others seemed to be long scenes, instead of the usual bouncing back and forth every couple of minutes between locales and characters in spurts, no pun intended.  But we start out with Marcy arriving home to find her home being deconstructed, and she reacts typically snarky, defensive and hilarious.  This continues when she meets Ronny Praeger, and I couldn't figure out if she liked the guy for his vulgar audacity or despised him for it.   He talks a lot like she does, no holds barred and in your face, so maybe she liked that about him, if nothing else.  Very interesting and a bit subdued Marcy as the scene progressed. 

 

Then Daisy comes out in her heart-shaped tuft of pubis, Ronny flips, Daisy argues, Charlie looks all proud, and a merkin is called for.  Interesting that the Runkles had a few around, and funny that Charlie wouldn't let Marcy answer Ronny's question as to why that would be.  I'd kind of like to know myself. 

 

Kind of cute and revealing scene between Hank and Karen.  Establishes that Hank's still trying to stay in her life, connected to her emotionally, if not physically, and she was characteristically dismissive of him, but I can see where she would be, given the subject matter.  And you can sort of see where her grudges lie, what's eating at her enough to keep Hank at a distance.  We know what she considered unforgiveable, and getting Sonja pregnant is high on the list, looks like, in spite of her telling Hank she wasn't mad at him about it before.  Hank's not convinced it's his, I don't want to be, and Karen already is.  Gosh, I hope the baby isn't Hank's.  That would be such an icky way to end the season, or especially the series. 

 

Anyway, I chuckled at Hank's attempts to get her attention, and the oxymoron of 'jumbo shrimp' line.  What puzzles me a little about Hank's persistence is why he'd want to expose Julian's unfaithfulness to Sonja?  Why would want to break them up?  Julian claimed he would take care of Sonja's child, regardless of parentage, and at this point, at least, it's Hank's best option for avoiding the responsibility himself, so why ruin Sonja's best chance for a mate? 

 

I don't think he's really thinking it through, unless he really, secretly wants to be a father to the child himself or he's convinced himself beyond all doubt that he'll luck out and the baby won't be his.  It seems more likely to me that he's letting his near juvenile obsession with breaking Julian's spell on everyone blind him to the consequences of his actions toward that aim.  I think Karen feels the same way about it that I do; that he's merely causing more trouble for himself in pursuing this, and that he'd do well to mind his own business, in this case in particular. 

 

Hank isn't doing himself any favors again, and I think I'd be more than a little pleased if he'd settle down some, at this juncture.  I love slutty Hank, for all the right comedic and shallow reasons, but if he truly wants his lady love back, he's got a funny way of showing it, is all I'm sayin'.    

 

Hank fights back with this next statement, and my thanks to Professor Moody for throwing out one that I had to look up words in order to figure out what he said in order to psychoanalyze it to death.  You'll excuse me while I speak to Hank more directly for a moment. 

 

Hank?  You said...  

 

"My ethical unpredictability is default proof of its hard-won vitality (mimterpretation: I really had to work hard to be ethically unpredictable, because I'm generally so predictably ethical, but I got that part DOWN now), because I'm not like 'by rote' (to memorize by repetition without exercise of the understanding) or programmatic about it.  I think this shit through, every issue (mimterpretation: I weigh the situation in detail, without preconception, weigh the pros and cons and make my judgments on a case-by-case basis, changing my ethical standards accordingly)." 

 

:buzzer sound:  'Fraid not, Hank.  You're showing clear signs of not thinking things through.  Trying to vindicate yourself for taking Julian down on the basis of his extracurricular sexual activities is a good example, that statement is yet another.  Sounded good, very learned and near-poetic of you, but if you look close, you should still be holding the smoking gun that just shot you in the foot.  Speaking of [oxy]moron... 

 

Because I think what you're saying is, in plain English, that you change your standards to fit your circumstances or the object of their imposition, will lower or raise them per circumstance or individual, and I don't think you're going to win Karen's heart by declaring yourself completely unpredictable, with free-floating, free-range ethics, you rebel. 

 

I think you can successfully and productively apply the principle to certain aspects of your actions, certainly.  It's called broadminded, and it works wonders in the right place at the right time, but not when applied to your bedroom morality, or lack of it, if you expect to stay in a long-term relationship with practically anybody with a brain or a heart, except for, of course, in a true open relationship, something you're so ironically and closed-mindedly dismissing as non-existent, offensive as a reality. 

 

First, you said 'open relationship' was an oxymoron, like 'jumbo shrimp' ( :high five: ) and that it thoroughly offended you, only to turn around and declare that you only apply standards of decency to those situations in which it most benefits yourself, giving yourself all kinds of options for a later change of heart, about open relationships or anything else.  Whatever applies to your own actions can be deemed irrelevant, but if it suits your need for weaponry in battle, that same argument is deemed acceptable. 

 

That's called wishy-washy, hypocritical and blows the more beneficial broadmindedness all to Hell.  What's true for others must also be true for you, or there's no balance, and without balance, no relationship, open or otherwise.  It's what the Golden Rule is all about, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, something you and US politics has forgotten, apparently.  You don't get to flog someone for things you do yourself, then complain when you get flogged back.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the person complaining the loudest is usually the guiltiest person in the room.  Watch for it. 

 

Okay, I think I've slapped Hank around enough for a few paragraphs, especially being that he's not here to slap back, so I'm back to our story in progress now. 

 

Hank claims the situation with Julian and Sonja is "our" business, and for the life of me, I don't see how.  Even if he believes the baby is his, which would make it his business, indirectly, Karen's got nothing to do with it and it isn't her business, anymore than it is Hank's.  I'm glad Karen made him shut up and pushed him out the door, before things got even worse, and I liked the mini-flogging aspect of her response.  :buzzer sound:  'Just shut up and go away before you say something you'll regret later, my darling 12-year-old.'  Way to go, Karen.  Pull that bullet-wounded foot out of his mouth before he leaves, though, please.  He might trip and fall down the stairs, adding injury to insult, otherwise.

 

Then we have another one of those seemingly long Runkle scenes, starting with Charlie and Ronny, arguing over completion of the project, until someone says everything's a go off camera, the 'stars' are called for and Daisy enters.  But where is Clittes, sounds like 'titties'? 

 

He's snorting blow with Marcy!  What else?  Charlie tells him he's needed elsewhere, he departs and Charlie's finally goes after Marcy on the burgeoning coke habit, suggesting she stop doing it, as she claims she can.  He tells her he's close to booking her a room at Wishes.  She wants to know why not Promises this time, as if she really wouldn't know why.  Does she think it's free?  She must know by now that coke isn't, and neither is rehab to get off of it.  She was starting to annoy me, in this scene, but I think I felt more sorry for her, that she's gone too far and doesn't know it yet. 

 

But then Ronny comes in to inform Charlie that Daisy's pouting in her trailer and won't do the scene or talk to anybody but Charlie.  Charlie leaves Petulant!Marcy to snort and watch Oprah.  

 

Hank's at Becca's school, waiting to pick her up and I noticed he was changing radio stations and what he landed and left it on sounded like polka or something.  Not sure why, but it struck me as funny.  Maybe I'm just easily amused.  Anyway, all Hank's women approach, including the one of the day for playtime later.  Becca asks Hank if they're still going to Lew's.  Hank says yes and Mia pipes in to invite her and Hank's pain relief of the day along for the ride.  I'm wondering where they're all going to sit.  They're introduced.  The hot chick is Annika Staley who works for Rolling Stone, and Hank interjects, 'the one that used to have some cultural relevance?' line.  Not exactly nonplussed, Annika tells Hank she's trailing Mia today, because Mia's going to be in their 'Hot' issue.  Hank's not impressed, but deflects and asks if Mia's feverish, ha, ha.

 

Hank sees Ms. Ex, Lew's former ladylove, standing a short distance away, talking to two friends.  Hank excuses himself and approaches her.  He formally introduces himself to her by telling her he's the guy who messed up her bush that morning.  Hee.  Hank realizes his snafu, and tries to explain, but Ms. Ex shoos her friends away, Hank gives her the recipient mail he'd stuffed in his back pocket at the scene of the crime, and she asks Hank if he always makes this kind of first impression.  He corrects that to second impression, making note that they'll only get worse from here, which made me laugh, and this is where Hank finally lays it all out for her, why he's chasing her around, all of a sudden. 

 

I couldn't tell you why, exactly, but I like her, Ms. Ex.  I like anybody who can talk to Hank as forthrightly and wittily as he can to them, and she rocked.  Sure told him, didn't she?  In no way do I think Hank's going to give up on pursuing her side of the story, but I guess we'll see.  I hope we see more of her, though, only ...I hope Hank doesn't have sex with her or anything.  That would be kinda icky, IMHO.  She's married, or I think she is, for one, and Lew would want to kill Hank with his bare hands, so I don't think that would be cool. 

 

I like her because she seems toughened and smart, not because she has a certain simpatico with Hank.  Not advocating any making of the love between them, but I'd just like to know more about her, like Hank does.  I'll add that I'm hoping Hank's pursuit of her ends with all her clothes on and both of them on a vertical plane, more or less.  'Course, I guess they could be on a vertical plane and still have sex, but you know what I mean.  Come to think of it, that's one we haven't seen Hank do yet; standing sex.  That might be interesting.  Interesting?!  What's my name, again?   

 

Where was I when I drifted off into unhealthy!fantasyland?  Oh right.  Then we see Charlie crossing the street with a plant cutting, heading for Daisy's trailer.  It's her car, for the record.  Charlie gets in and places her plant on the dash and comments that he likes her trailer.  She admits she drove out to California in the car, and then we're off to hearing Daisy's story, how she came to California and how she came to love sex and porn, but that now it all seems little more than disgusting.  Charlie tries to give her an out, she says she doesn't want it, but she's scared.  Charlie's all reassuring, calls her America's fuckable sweetheart, which gets her blood going.  She confesses to Charlie she's about ready to jump his bones, and he suggests they better get inside, then.  Kind of a sweet scene, and again seemed longer than most, for the Runkle.  

 

Next, we find out about coke dick.  Clittes has it, and Marcy gets blamed for it.  Ronny needs a stunt cock, and first humiliates one of his crew, then he picks on Charlie next, and of course, Charlie initially refuses, but Marcy talks him into it for financial reasons.  Says she doesn't want to end up in Park Le Brea eating cat food.  Daisy appears enthusiastic, Charlie appears reluctant. 

 

Was the lovely young woman playing the guitar with Becca the same one Julian was bonking earlier, Holly?  They sort of looked alike, but I couldn't tell, and I gather Holly was a groupie or wannabe singer Lew had hanging around his mansion all day, so I'm guessing she was getting Lew-purchased group discount therapy from Julian while she was there, when she wasn't trying to impress Lew enough to get a recording contract. 

 

Sure as the sun rises, it's obvious Annika's already hot for Hank, being the hot issue girl, I suppose it's in theme.  And naturally, she's a book reviewer critic kind of person, so she knows this is THE Hank Moody she's talking to and flirting with and trying to distract from watching his daughter play the guitar.  But she plays it all cool and aloof, like she's just working on her article, blabbing about Mia's book being all visceral and everything, while Hank wishes she'd just shut up and listen to the music he's trying to listen to.  He first points out to blabber mouth flirty girl that that's his daughter up there playing the guitar.  She's like, 'oh yeah, great :yawn:', so Hank asks if it's too much to hope for that someone from Rolling Stone love music, hint, hint, but it's not her beat, she reminds him.  Music is not her rhythm, I suppose.

 

He pokes at her coverage of words, asks if she limits herself to only the hot ones, and she challenges him to find out, give her an interview.  No.  She tries again.  No, again.  She persists, making it all about partaking of drink and talking about Mia.  Hank tells her Mia can talk about herself, and excuses himself to go speak to Sonja, who's just entered the room looking confused and blue-faced.  I was all hopeful he'd shed himself of Hot Chick of the week.  HA!

 

Hank rushes to Sonja and realizes she's going to hurl and we cut to Hank Holding Sonja's hair while she barfs.  Awww.  They have an enlightening conversation, about cancer-causing fear and Julian.  Sonja gives Hank the perfect opening to tell her what he knows about Julian, because it appears she already knows of his extracurricular sexual activities, but he does it anyway, only to discover that Karen was right and they *do* have an open relationship.  Hank asks her why she stays with him, and she seems to think it's her last chance.  She can't be alone, because she doesn't function that way.

 

Their conversation is interrupted when the baby moves, and she has to go sit down, so Hank goes with her, and ends up speaking to the baby, then sticking his ear to Sonja's tummy, trying to hear or feel the baby moving.  He does, just about the time Karen appears out of nowhere, come to pick up Becca.  Karen gets all snarky, which I suppose is understandable, and Sonja excuses herself to go find Julian, possibly bopping another groupie somewhere in the house.

 

Hank has to give it up and tell Karen she was right, that Sonja and Julian actually have an open relationship.  The face and gesture Hank makes after the confession are hilarious.  First, Karen scolds him for butting in, in spite of what she told him about staying out of it, then commends him for getting involved, mentioning that a real asshole would get a girl pregnant and not get involved, so at least he's showing progress toward not being such an asshole.  I noted a 'hint' of sarcasm in her rant.  I think she's as confused about how to take Hank's involvement in Sonja's pregnancy as Hank and Sonja are.  Nobody really seems to know how they feel about it, and Hank's the only one still clinging to the hope that it's not really his.  Well, you could count me on Hank's side.  I'm still clinging to that hope, too.    

 

They get to the bottom of the stairs, where we see Lew and Becca and Mia.  Karen and Hank approach and Karen tells Becca to get her things.  Becca says, no way, this is too much fun to leave.  Hank and Karen both tell her to get her stuff and not to argue, it's late.  Becca gets all pissy about it, but obeys.  Mia pipes in that she's keeping an eye on Becca, and Karen asks, who, pray tell, is keeping an eye on her?  Mia grins evilly.  It certainly isn't Hank.  Hank has gotten so careless around her, all of a sudden, and isn't even trying to keep her out of trouble, like I would think the real Hank would. 

 

His lax attitude toward her is kind of disturbing, IMO.  But Karen doesn't step in to get Mia away from the scene, so I don't suppose Hank felt like it was his responsibility either.  For all intents and purposes, Mia has no parents, remember, and where I don't think it's necessarily Hank and Karen's duty to step into that role, they're really in the best position to play pseudo-parents to Mia, and the way they ignore her behavior when it's convenient to kinda bugs me.  Anyway, Karen comments what nice friends Hank has, but before Hank can say anything back, she and Becca walk away and out the door without even saying good-bye.  Becca doesn't even give Hank a hug for bringing her along for all the fun she had at Lew's.  Poor Hank.

 

But relief is on the way!  Here comes Annika and her bottle of spirits, pouncing on Hank in a weak moment, to offer him drink and companionship.  And naturally, he gives us the impression it's a very attractive offer.

 

Only, we cut to Marcy giving Charlie's 'man bush' a trim, to make it more camera friendly.  Charlie complains she seems a little upset about things.  She insists she's fine with it, because she doesn't want to see them go bankrupt.  Charlie asks for a special favor, to help him perk up some.  Marcy agrees, and gets things underway, just as Ronny walks in to tell him they're ready for him.  He makes some lewd comments, Charlie tells him to go away and he does.  Marcy compliments Charlie on the porcelain monkey she made and loves, and Charlie's ready for his big stunt cock scene.   They join hands and try reassuring each other he's doing it for them.  Marcy says she knows that and says, "Go get 'em, quickdraw!" which made me snicker, then tries to be supportive, stays behind him, nudging him along to the set. 

 

He joins with Daisy, gets carried away, as usual, and doesn't last long.  But Ronny seems pleased and the movie's a wrap.  Big round of applause, while Charlie gets a sweet patting on his bare bottom and Daisy gets a thumb's up, both from Marcy.

 

Hank and Annika are sitting next to the pool, pants rolled up, feet stuck in the water.  They're passing the bottle of spirits back and forth, while Annika hits him with the confession she knows he'll love more than anything.  She's pretty sneaky.  She tells him that God, he's just like his books, and proceeds to tell him how.  Hank says it surprises him that she'd have read enough of his books to even know that he's just like them, in person.  Please tell me he was faking the surprise. 

 

Annika's  like, yeah sure, she's read all the great misogynists (just when I thought we'd gotten past that untruth about Hank, sigh), she says, and she claims to have written a review of his first book, which Hank remembers, because it was particularly vicious.  And woo, Annika gets to drop the r-bomb this week, making it six-for-six!  Hank asks what would make her say such awful things, and Annika tells Hank she was working through her issues with men.  Hank tells her he wanted to muff punch her with his typewriter.  She laughs, then gets all serious and sure enough, she asks Hank if he still wants to, and he looks scurrilously attracted again.  You gotta know he's not even thinking about telling her no.  Wanna guess what he said that we didn't see?

 

Did you guess 'yes'?  Because that's what he said.  I don't know if anyone else remembers this, but last season's promotion started out with 'He'll say anything but no,' as a catchphrase for Hank.  He hasn't changed a bit in 18 episodes, obviously.  This time, we get right to it, just like they do.  No breaking to see what the Runkles are up to.  We see Hank muff-punching Annika with his typewriter, instead, proving again how vital...  never mind.  Looked great and I wished it was me.  <g>  Sorta.  I'd like to be Annika, sure.  She's very pretty and very lucky, in my view of the muff punching going on.  She looked and sounded very happy, and who wouldn't want to be her?  I mean, c'mon.  But anyway, her bliss or mine doesn't last long because she's so been rocked, she needs a minute to breathe and take back some of the bad things she said about Hank before.  You go, girl.   

 

This is when what Hank told Karen earlier started to really eat at me.  Sorry.  In making his argument as to why he finds Julian's behavior vile, he's making a distinction that since Julian lives with Sonja, it's not Julian's right to have sex with others, but since Hank's not living with Karen, it's okay for him to sleep with every conceivable availability.  Karen doesn't see the distinction, because to her, Hank sleeping with everything that moves, even when not living with her, is equally as unhealthy and disgusting and telling as Julian calling it an essential part of his work, a given.  Hank seems to think sleeping with women is the only way to live without Karen, and I think it's a good part of the reason he can't have Karen now. 

 

That Hank would give himself those liberties and distinctions so liberally and conveniently is no better than Julian's excuse that it's part of his work.  Hank uses sex as medication, and how is that different from Julian using it as meditation?  At least Julian gets paid for what he's doing, ya know?  <p>  Hank gets payback for the things he does, and as intelligent as he is, why would he keep doing that?  It solves nothing, it improves nothing, proves nothing, it's meaningless.  Pointless pussy.  If he's looking for a replacement for Karen, why go to the bedroom first?  Does he really think that's where he'll find her?  Committed relationship or not, Julian has the same right as Hank to bonk whomever he pleases, or thinks he can please, calling it therapy and part of his overall plan to healthy thinking, yeah, right, if Hank has that right to make himself feel better with his actions. 

 

Still, where the Hank and Julian atrocities may be similar, what is not are the affected females involved.  It's okay with Sonja, it's not with Karen.  That's the only distinction.  If he can't say no now, why would Karen think he always would later?  He's got those free-range ethics to back him up, next time he gets caught.  Much as I love Hank, and I think Karen does, too, I'd never be able to trust him out of my sight.  I'd either have to just accept I'm in an open relationship, or get out of the relationship, and I think that's where Karen is now.  She's still confused about what she wants and where she should be going, and Hank's not helping her decide if he should be a part of her journey from here.  He makes games out of trying to worm his way back in, with no real behavior changes to back him up. 

 

At the same time, I don't really think Karen's being fair, because as I've mentioned many times, Karen doesn't know what I know ...how hard Hank tried to be good for her, once they got back together.  She just saw all the fuck-ups, had all the same suspicions, and I think it could be because she's done it herself, strayed while she was still living with Hank.  She's afraid Hank will do to her what she did to him.  Takes one to know one.  She wants to pretend like that's not even part of the landscape, her 'minor' indiscretion (when she compares them to the voracity and frequency of Hank's), but in a way, she put the idea of Hank cheating on her in her head, all by herself. 

 

In the argument in California Son, we know Karen already thought Hank was cheating on her, and that's why he'd drifted away from her sexually.  She took that assumption and ran with it, deciding it was okay for her to cheat because Hank was.  Only he wasn't.  And that's kind of what I saw happen when they got together last; she began to assume Hank was sleeping with prostitutes again, and playing accidental oralist for his own jollies, when he was actually remaining quite faithful to her, all the while.  It's as simple as she doesn't know Hank like we do, and she may not ever.  But I hope she does, because I think Hank's worth saving.  The guy's a keeper, in my book.

 

I only wish Karen would express that more in depth to Hank, explain to him why his sexual buffoonery isn't helping their chances for a happy life together.  He needs to prove to her he can abstain or at the very least choose wisely and for the right reasons consistently, together or apart, and so far, it's like it hasn't even crossed his mind that, 'oh, maybe she wants me to prove I've got it in me to find the good in me, besides my goodness in bed, that is, prove that I can lead a relatively decent day-to-day life, a day to be proud of, without her around to stay on my back or catch me doing something opposed to my own varying and unpredictable ethical habits.  Of the day.' 

 

Otherwise, he could slip any time, forget he's got a girlfriend and daughter at home, counting on him, decide it's essential to his writing process, to explore the depths of human greed and passion and lust for his next novel, if you're in Karen's mindset, and she has no reason to trust him.  He's not given her one reason to, as yet.  She seems to know about practically every dalliance these days, or she will eventually, and Hank hanging around Ashby Manor, bedding his lady of the day, with Mia in the next room  (*MIA*, Hank!  Remember her?  The girl who spends her every waking moment finding ways to destroy you?  HELL-OOO), and Julian the Tormentor hanging around bonking groupies for cash, for Pete's sake, couldn't possibly be more irresponsible of him, and I suddenly know where Karen's head is at, and where she's coming from, and why she keeps right on moving away from Hank.  

 

He's acting like a man who doesn't give a flip what Karen thinks of him, and to her, it's the same pattern as before.  He's sleeping with everything that moves, trying to move her to take him back.  Don't work that way, Hanky, and you oughta know that by now.  She's not impressed that your heart is so broken that you'll sleep with anybody that offers, because it merely appears to her she's pretty easy to forget, when it comes to your hedonist ways.  All somebody has to do is flick your Bic, and it's 'Karen who?'  I think that's how it looks to her, whether that's what in your heart, or not. 

 

Anybody with permission, a penis and access to Viagra can sleep with an attractive woman, and I think she's looking for signs of the real Hank in his behavior away from her, the one she's supposed to be able to count on as a husband and a father, somebody standing way above the rest.  He needs to show her he's an exceptional man, someone who rises above the fray of the common, and right now, he's acting like a typical frat boy.  I wouldn't want to marry that either, ya know? 

 

Hank seems to think the only way to a woman's heart is through her vagina, and where knowing how to treat that part of a woman is certainly a nice asset, it only lasts as long as the orgasm does, and to a woman like Karen, then there's the other 99% of her life to think about.  Maybe men choose mates solely by their bedroom behavior, but women have the whole house to take care of, and like knowing a man has a skill set for other rooms of the house, too, or 99% of her life is going to be shit, without anyone to help her shovel it.   

 

A decent man wouldn't take what every willing woman is offering, just because they're offering it.  He'd see the wisdom in weighing the value of the act against the person he's about to poke it in, now and then, is it really worth the energy and risk, and if so, ask himself why it is, before he decides.   Maybe only accept if he can find something worthwhile in making the love, besides, 'orgasms for everybody, woo!'  Sex should be an act of the heart, if it's going to mean anything, and it should come from substance, not act as substance itself. 

 

And no, to me, at least, that doesn't automatically mean Hank should be all Mulderishly monkish in regards to sex, but he at least needs to show himself (and Karen) that he has some sense of decency about how he treats women in general, those same women he's always mourning the objectifying of (like he's helping by worrying about it after he's already objectified them...), and how that translates to how he treats the women he loves, specifically, Karen and Becca.   

 

I'm only holding Hank's head above water, at this juncture, because I know he can do it, say no to others, when he's with Karen.  Like I said before, I wish she got to see what I see of Hank, so she would know he can be good, as along as he has her at home waiting for him.  But she can't, and she doesn't know what I know, that Hank tried and she didn't give him credit for it, and every time Hank falls into bed with another hungry female, he's eroding his value to her, her faith in him, by becoming the guy she's wary of and can't live with.  He's living down to her expectations, and besides health issues, that's why he shouldn't be bonking every pretty lady he meets with an ache and half an hour to spare. 

 

Nevertheless, the sex in this ep looked quite tasty, and I'm glad Annika enjoyed it as much as she appeared to, because I did, too.  Call me a perv, but yeah, I like to watch beautiful wasps having sex (stolen from Dori Carter, yes), especially if one of them is Hank Moody.  The comedy to draw out of this week's babe banging was quite a bit more subtle and came in the form of after-sex banter and playfulness, which was also kind of different, and slightly more realistic.  More reminiscent of his fling with Meredith, although I didn't really get the impression Hank was exactly sweet on Annika, but enjoyed being with her for sex a lot, proving himself to her, proving her wrong about him in some ways, impressing her with his sexual prowess, providing that muff punch with his 'typewriter' she asked for. 

 

This time, we get actual visual of Hank's Magic Orgasm Elixir at its finest, doing its deed on his recipient, instead of Hank just bragging about it, for a change.  That was refreshing.  Looks like Hank's got reason to brag, after all.  Still think he does it too much, bragging on his Magic O Elixir, but maybe the problem for me was that I wanted him to shut up about it and just show me, because I liked that part a lot.  Now I know what he's always bragging about.  I get it, finally.  Thank you.

 

Someone else(s) noticed we still didn't get to see Hank's O face, though, nor have we ever.  It appeared to me that he never reached O.  Annika did, certainly, but it was sort of like she needed a break after it (something I find more than a little plausible), she got the toe cramp Hank wanted to think was an aftershock (hee), and that ended the act (temporarily?), with no O for Hank.   

 

Toe cramps are the worst.  I'm glad she got one.  Not really.  Just that old green monster rearing its ugly head again.  Sorry.  It was sweet of Hanky to try and fix it for her.  But gosh, she looked happy anyway, didn't she?  :sigh:  Took back that mean ol' puerile thing she said about him before.  I mentioned mojo? 

 

That must be the source of it, I reckon.  I still maintain it could come from elsewhere, without him even trying much, but ...not complaining.  It was lovely in its own way and cute and indicative of all the bragging, so two points for Hank.  One of the better sex scenes of the series, if I may say so.  Not so comical, which could be worrying to me, if I wanted to let it, but as I said, there was the more subtle calamity in the form of a toe cramp, so...  Good for a pointless pussy scene, I guess.  Somebody please assure me Hank had on protection this time, and that he'll never have sex with a stranger again without it.  Please.  

 

Vasectomy aside, there's always STDs to consider, after all.   I don't care how little he can feel with protection on, it's just stupid of Hank to consider promiscuity without protection, I'm sorry.   Maybe it'd be like those cigarettes with less nicotine were supposed to work; you'd get so tired of all the huffing and puffing and not getting your fix, you just quit smoking.  He'll get so sick of wearing himself out without feeling anything, that he'll quit fucking.  Yeah, that'll work.  Somebody send Hank a huge box of condoms, a case would be better, extra thick kind, please.  Or I know!  We could put Bob in one of those seal-a-meal things and make it permanent!  YES!  I'm KIDDING!  That's no better than Chloe's Whole Foods idea, for pity's sake. 

 

But still, a slut like Hank could use something kind of permanently in place so he can't possibly forget to protect himself and his many conquests from disaster.  I still think the case of condoms, shipped air overnight, would be good.  Maybe he could just put one on when he dresses every morning, so he's ever ready...  :slaps self:  Here I was, doing so well, and I go drifting off into Bob Protectionism and got completely lost.  Sorry, but just because I'm not supposed to talk about him anymore, doesn't mean I don't still care about his health and safety, ya know.  And I'm only to stEP six, keep in mind.     

                                                                                                      

Was Annika just more hate fucking on Hank's part?  Only she wasn't as annoying as Chloe?  Chloe's a tough hate fucking act to follow.  Very pretty young woman, Annika Staley, and I could at least see the attraction, and Hank's driving desire to change her mind about him and his writing with thrilling sex.  I thought she was kind of snobby and full of herself, struggling to be cool and lofty, but not hatin' on her or anything.  Mostly just don't think she'd be a good match for Hank for a long-term thing or whatever.  Maybe they're a little bit too much alike or something.  They'd be hate fucking on a daily basis, and according to Chloe, Hank wouldn't live long if he did that, remember.

 

I didn't really get the impression either of the banging buddies were in love with the other, just that they both really enjoyed the attraction they shared for each other and the sex which resulted.  But there was a lot left out, like the part of their conversation where Annika came to ascertain that Hank was just like his books, all puerile and everything, or what happened when no-longer-puerile Hank came back with her Vagatorade electrolytes, so who knows?  She could get a few repeats later, I suppose.  Lucky bit... 

 

Has anybody else noticed we're getting all Hank-on-Top sex this year?  Last year it was almost always Hank-on-Bottom, except for Karen, but this year he's always on top.  It's much more realistic and ...um ...effective that way, but I always thought so, where our leading man is concerned.  But this week's hate fucking wasn't as jarring as the jihad of last week, at least, for me or the receiver.  No merkin or real thing sightings this week, either.  :pouting:

 

Then, the closing scene.  More sickening than heartbreaking this week, for something different, which I appreciate.  Hank's headed to get Vagatorade, and Lew comes out in his boxer briefs, looking disheveled and asking Hank who the screamer is.  Hank informs him and Lew's impressed.  But he tells Hank the screamer scared his own sex object out of her orgasm, and Hank's trying to apologize when Lew mentions he thought the chick was about to punch him.  Hank's not even beginning to get it from the look on his face, but Mia comes prancing out of the Lew's bedroom, wearing a man's dress shirt, messy hair and a shit-eating grin, and he gets it ...all over his face and all the way down to that knot in his gut, he gets it.  She excuses herself to the gents, walks between them and on down the hall.  Lew says he likeys.  Hank looks like he's going to either cry or hurl.  End of episode.

 

So what do you think?  Do we come back next week with Hank punching Lew in the face?  Suppose he did?  I have a bad feeling we won't see how the scene transpired from there, but I at least hope it's discussed between Hank and somebody.  He wants to get involved in someone's life, well there ya go.  Mia would make a good recipient for his exasperating brand of intervention.  I think basically everything she does is an attempt to get his attention, and at this point, it might not be a bad idea for Hank to pay some attention to her. 

 

I have to wonder if Hank could be considered an accessory to the statutory rape, in this case, since he actually delivered Mia to the household (just another part of Mia's overall plan?), then neglected to keep an eye on her, and was, instead, down the hall having consensual sex himself.  It could appear he facilitated the ultimate crime, couldn't it?  Personally, I'm freaking out at the thought that Mia's little move with Lew was nothing more than part of her plan to get Hank's biography of Lew out from under Hank and publish it as her own. 

 

She's got Hank and Lew both over a barrel now, and she could wield that power over them to parlay herself into another smash hit book, written by Hank, by merely having sex with the right guy again.  She's going to make a career out of blackmailing Hank into playing her ghost writer.  Very little effort involved to get what she wants, because both of them would have to keep their mouths shut about Mia's crime or land in jail for the other crime they committed with her.  I guess it's what happens when you think with your dick, eh?  Lew is a complete child, and his ignorance astounds me sometimes.  I guess if you're rich and famous, you can get away with calling it eccentric, but what a moron, anyway. 

 

Then again, I don't know that Lew would be as intimidated by threats from Mia as practically anyone else might be.  He's got a great lawyer, remember, and certainly doesn't seem like the type who would back down from a hapless and greedy 17-year-old who's trying to screw Hank out of the book Lew asked him to write, or perhaps screw her way into a music career through Lew.  I would have to hope he'd have enough respect for Hank, in the end, that he'd tell Mia to fuck off, and if she tries pulling this statutory rape crap anyway, she will definitely be sorry.  Before he's through with her, she'll never work in LA again, or whatever.  That would be pretty cool and the kind of slap to the face I'd like to see Mia get, eventually.  She may not back down either, but I'd still love to see somebody stand up to the little witch and make her think twice about making a living out of using people for her own gain and their loss.   

 

In spite of the creeping fears about where this all may be headed, I liked this ep, too.  I like them all, for one reason or another, and this one was no different.  I want to see Hank change some, show some heart again, and I didn't get much of that this week.  It was like it didn't come out of hiding at all, except when he spoke to Sonja, and at the very end, when he looked so troubled about Mia.  But we're only at the halfway point, six more stEPs to go, and I look forward to progress with each new one.   

 

I don't usually do this, mention anything specific about the teaser for next week's episode, but I'll say that as much as I love Justine Bateman, and will enjoy seeing her on the show, the end of the teaser left me uneasy to the degree of nausea.  Here I was, staring at the totally healthy and buff, naked Hank, all the way down to you know where, before the magnificent view of him ends, and still feeling kind of sick, because of who he happens upon at the bottom of the stairs.  Ouch.  That cannot turn out good in any form or fashion.  I'm, of course, withholding judgment until I see the ep and how it all comes down, but I see big trouble ahead for Hank from both his girls.  :sniff:  <g> 

 

No really, I can't wait to see how it happens and how it turns out, as always.  You know me ...I'm keeping the faith.  Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

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